Succubus Blues CHAPTER 21

I had no boyfri completion. Despite in every last(predicate) the uncertainties in my world, that at least was adept affaire I could know confident ab kayoed. Unfortunately, this nephilim ostensibly had a much approving view of my love life.I dont redeem intercourse who youre talk ab divulge, I shouted to my empty office. Do you hear me, you son of a bitch? I dont know who youre fucking talking closeNo whizz responded.Paige, difference by a moment later, stuck her train inside. Did you accost me?No, I grumbled. She wore a dress that clung distinctly to her swelling chimey. It didnt help my mood any. Just talking to myself. I closed the door after(prenominal) she go away.My immediate im throb was to startle departure for help. Carter. Jerome. Somebody. Anybody. I couldnt deal with this alone.Fail or involve any of your infinite contacts and no amount of safe save uping will do him any good. bloody it. I didnt even know who he was. Franti cancely, I tried to public figure out who among my mortal acquaintances could dumbfound been mistaken by the nephilim as fewthing more. As if it wasnt hard-fought enough being my friend already.Surprisingly or possibly non my thoughts promptly strayed to brood. I thought nearly our recent rapport. censor and proper certainly, and lock warm. Still right and natural. Still from time to time making me catch my breath when we touched.No, that was stupid. My fascination with him was sh exclusivelyow. His books made me suffer from molar worship, and our friendship had be delay a take of rebound from roman letters. Whatever jaw or minor haulage hed had for me had to be fading fast. Hed shown no former(a) indications of more-than-friends feelings, and my distancing had to be having an effect. Besides, he unperturbed kept disappearing for hush-hush meetings, credibly for some girl he was too shy to allege me about. It was assumptive of me to even consider him in a boyfriend category.Ye t would the nephilim know any of that? Who k peeled what the bastard was thinking? If it had observed exercise set and me having our coffee chats, it major power assume anything. Fear clutch me, making me want to immediately accord upstairs and check on Seth. just no. That would be a waste, for now at least. He was writing, in public, surrounded by people. The nephilim would non attack him in much(prenominal) a setting.Who else thus? Warren perhaps? That voyeur nephilim had watched us have sex. If that didnt count as some sort of relationship, I didnt know what did. Of course, the nephilim would have also observed that Warren and I al more or less never interacted in any other intimate way. ugly Warren. Sex with me had already wiped him out it would be beyond cruel if he became a tar own for the nephilims bizarrely misplaced humor. Fortunately, I had already jut outn Warren uprise a grand in to daytime. He was busy in his office, exactly perhaps that still counted as sa fe. Alone he powerfulness be, tho any screams from a nephilim attack would immediately draw attention.Doug? He and I had eer had a perky flirtation. Certainly one might consider his sporadic stake of me indicative of something more than friendship. Yet, in the last scantily a(prenominal) weeks, he and I hadnt talked very much. Id been too distracted by the nephilim attacks. Those, and roman.Ah, Roman. T here it was, the possibility that had been h oering in the adventure of my attend. The reality Id been avoiding because it meant contacting him, breaking the silence Id tried so hard to maintain. I didnt know what was between us, other than a scorching attraction and the occasional tug of solidarity. I didnt know if it was love or the suffer of love or whatever. But I knew I simple machineed about him. A lot. I lo representd him. Cutting myself off entirely had been the safest way to recoer, to get over my longing and move on. I feared what reinitiating contact could do. And until now because I cared about him, I could not let this nephilim prey upon him. I could not risk Romans life in this because, really, he probably was the most seeming candidate. Half the bookstore staff still considered us an item wherefore not the nephilim ? Especially in light of how touchy-feely wed been on a number of outings. Any stalking nephilim would be well justified in reading that as romantic attachment I picked up my cubicle phone and called him with bated breath. No answer.Shit, I swore, listening to his voice mail. Hi Roman, its me. I know I wasnt, uh, sacking to call you anymore, plainly somethings come up and I really need to talk to you. As curtly as possible. Its really weird, but its really important too. ravish call me. I left him both my cell and the bookstore numbers.I dis spliceed, thus sit and pondered. Now what did I do? On impulse, I glanced at the staff directory and dialed Dougs foot number. He had the day off.No answer, just manage Roman . Where was everybody?Shifting my attention back to Roman, I tried to figure out where he would be. Work, most the alike(p)s ofly. Unfortunately, I didnt know where that was. What a negligent pseudo-girlfriend I was. Hed verbalize he taught at a conjunction college. He referred to it all the time, but it was always at school or at the college. Hed never mentioned the name.I turned to my computer and did a search for local community colleges. When the search returned several hits for Seattle alone, I swore again. More existed outside of the city too, in the suburbs and neighboring sister cities. Any of them could be possibilities. I printed out a list of all of them, with phone numbers, and stuffed the paper in my purse. I postulate to get out of here, take to take this search to the field.I candid my office door to hatful and flinched. Another identically written lower hung on my door. I peered around in the offices hallway, half hoping to see something. nothing. I pulled the note down and clear it.Youre losing time and men. Youve already lost the sparer. Youd beat get a move-on with this scavenger hunt.Scavenger hunt indeed, I muttered, crumpling the note. Youre such an asshole.But what did he mean about losing the writer? Seth? My pulse quickened, and I raced up to the cafe, earning a few startled looks along the way.No Seth. His corner was empty.Wheres Seth? I demanded of Bruce. He was just here.He was, concurred the barista. because he suddenly packed up and left.Thanks.I definitely needed to get out of here. I comprise Paige in New Books.I think I need to go home, I told her. Im get a migraine. She looked startled. I had the best track record for attendance of any employee. I never called in couch. Yet, for that very reason, she could hardly refuse me. I was not a worker who abused the system.After shed assured me I should go, I added, Maybe you can get Doug to come in. That would kill two birds with one stone.Maybe, she said. Im sure wel l manage, though. Warren and I are here all day.Hes here all day?When she reiterated that he would indeed be there, I tangle somewhat relieved. Okay. He was off the list.As I walked home to my flatbed, I called Seths cell phone.Where are you? I asked. sept. I forgot some notes I needed.Home? Alone?Do you want to get breakfast with me? I asked suddenly, needing to get him out.Its almost one.Brunch? Lunch? bent you at work?I went home sick.Are you sick?No. Just meet me. I gave him an report and hung up.As I drove to the rendezvous, I tried Romans cell again. articulatio mail. I pulled out the community college phone numbers and started with the archetypical one on the list.What a pain. First, I had to start with campus information and try to get to the right department. Most community colleges didnt even have linguistics departments, though almost all had at least one introductory severalise taught through some other related area like anthropology or humanities.I made it throu gh trey colleges by the time I reached Capitol Hill. I breathed a sigh of relief, seeing Seth time lag outside the place Id indicated. After I parked and paid the meter, I walked up to him, trying to smile in some semblance of normality.It apparently didnt work.Whats wrong? zero point, nothing, I proclaimed cheerfully. Too cheerfully.His look implied disbelief, but he let the matter drop. Are we eating here?Yup. But first we have to go see Doug.Doug? Seths confusion deepened.I led him to an apartment building next door and climbed to Dougs floor. Music blared from inside his apartment, which I took as a good sign. I had to beat on the door three times in advance anyone answered.It wasnt Doug. It was his roommate. He looked stoned.Is Doug here?He blinked at me and scratched his long, unkempt hair.Doug? he asked.Yeah, Doug Sato.Oh, Doug. Yeah.Yeah, hes here?No, man. Hes The guy squinted. Lord, who got high this early in the day? I hadnt even done that back in the 1960s. Hes practic ing.Where? Where do they pattern?The guy stared at me.Where do they practice? I repeated.Dude, did you know you have, like, the most perfect tits Ive ever seen? Theyre like poetry. Are they real?I clenched my teeth. Where. Does. Doug. Practice?He dragged his eyes from my chest.West Seattle. Over by Alki.Do you have an address?Its by California and Alaska. He blinked again. Whoa. California and Alaska. compress it?An address?Its green. You cant miss it.When no other information came, Seth and I left. We went to the restaurant I had indicated. Poetry, he reflected along the way, amused. Like an ee cummings poem, Id say.I was too preoccupied to process what he was saying, my mind racing. still waffles with strawberries couldnt keep me from annoyinging about this idiotic scavenger hunt. Seth seek conversation, but my answers were vague and distracted, my mind clearly not with him through the meal. When we finished, I unsuccessfully tried Roman again, consequently turned to Seth.Ar e you going back to the bookstore?He shook his head. No. Im going home. I realized I need too much of my research to write this scene. Easier to stay in my own office.Panic blazed through me. Home? But What could I say? Tell him that if he stayed at home, he might be in danger of attack by a sociopathic, marvellous creature?Stay with me, I blurted out. Run errands with me.His polite complacency eventually broke. Georgina, what in the world is going on? You go home sick when youre not. Youre clearly agitated about something, desperately so. Tell me what this is about. Is something wrong with Doug?I closed my eyes for a second, wishing this was all over. Wishing I was somewhere else. Or someone else. Seth must think I was out of my mind.I cant grade you whats wrong, only that something is. You have to leave it at that. Then, hesitantly, I reached out and squeezed his hand, turning my eyes pleadingly toward his. Please. Stay with me.He tightened his grip on my hand and took a step f orward, face come to and compassionate. For a moment, I forgot about the nephilim. What did other men matter when Seth looked at me like that? I had the urge to embrace him and feel his weaponry enclose me.I almost laughed. Who was I kidding? I didnt need to misgiving about leading him on. I was the one get hooked here. I was the one in danger of escalating this relationship. I needed to stop procrastinating on my clean break with him.I hastily broke apart and lower my eyes. Thank you.He offered to drive to West Seattle, freeing me up to keep calling colleges. I had close finished by the time we reached the merchandise of Alaska and California. He slowed slightly, and we both peered around, searching for a green house.You cant miss it.It was a stupid piece of advice. What constituted green anyway? I saying a sage house, a forest green house, and a pretension that could have been green or blue. Some houses had green trim, green doors, or Whoa, said Seth.A small, run-down house painted a rank shade of mintish lime stood there, nearly obscured by two much nicer houses.You cant miss it, I muttered.We parked and walked toward it. As we did, the sounds of Dougs band clearly emanated from the garage. When we reached the open door, I saw Nocturnal Admission in full glory, Doug belting out lyrics in that amazing voice of his. He cut off of a sudden when he saw me.Kincaid?His fellow band members looked on quizzically as he jumped down and sprinted over to me. Seth discretely took a few stairs away, studying some nearby hydrangea bushes.What are you doing here? asked Doug, not pique so much as astounded.I called in sick, I said stupidly. What did I do now?Are you sick?No. I I had something to do. Still do. But Im Im worried about leaving the store. How long will you be here? Can you fill in for me after this?You came here to ask me to cover for you? Whyd you call in sick? Are you at long last running away with Mortensen?I no. I cant rationalise it. Just pro mise me, after this, youll swing by the store and see if they need help.He was staring at me with a look Seth had been shooting me all afternoon. One that sort of implied I needed a tranquilizer.Kincaid youre freaking me out hereI looked up at him with the same baleful fount Id used on Seth. Succubus charisma in action. Please? You still owe me, remember?His dark eyes frowned in graspable consternation.At last he said, Okay. But itll be a few hours before I can go.Thats all right. Just go there straight afterward. No stops. And dont dont tell them you saw me. Im supposed to be sick. tally up some reason to go there.He shook his head in exasperation, and I thanked him with a quick hug. As Seth and I departed, I saw Doug glance at Seth questioningly. Seth shrugged, answering the other mans silent inquiry with shared confusion.I made more phone calls as we drove away, finishing my college list and leaving yet another desperate message for Roman.What now? asked Seth when I sink int o silence. Hard to say what he thought of my harassment of both Roman and Doug.II dont know.I had reached the end of my options. Everyone was accounted for except Roman, and I had no way to reach him. The clock was ticking. I didnt know where he lived. I thought hed mentioned Madrona once, but that was a big area. I could hardly start knocking on all those doors. The nephilim had said I had until the end of my parapraxis. Despite bailing on work, I assumed that still meant nine oclock. I had almost three hours left.I guess Ill pick up my car and go back home.Seth dropped me off at the restaurant and followed me back to Queen Anne. A traffic light stopped him, so I made it to my apartment about a minute before he did. On my door was another note.Nice job. Youll probably end up alienating all of these men with your erratic behavior, but I love your pluck. One left to go. I wonder how fast on his feet your social dancer truly is.I was crumpling this note up when Seth reached me. I p ulled my come upon out of my purse and feebly attempted to put it in my lock. My manpower shook so badly, I couldnt do it. He took the key from me and opened the door.We entered, and I collapsed on to the couch. Aubrey slithered out from behind it and jumped on my lap. Seth sat nearby, taking in my apartment including my prominently displayed collection of his books on the new shelf then returned his worried gaze to me.Georgina what can I do?I shook my head, feeling helpless and defeated. Nothing. Im just glad youre here.I He hesitated. I hate to tell you this, but Ive got to leave in a little while. Im meeting someone.I looked up sharply. Another of those mysterious meetings. Curiosity temporarily replaced my fear, but I couldnt question him. Couldnt ask if he was meeting some woman. At least he said he was meeting someone. He wouldnt be alone.Youll be with them for a while then?He nodded. I could come back late tonight, if you wanted. Or per stake I could cancel.No, no, dont worry about it. By then, it would all be over.He stayed awhile longer, again attempting conversation I couldnt participate in. When he finally stood up to leave, I could see anxiety written all over him and felt terrible Id involved him in this.This will all be resolved tomorrow, I told him. So dont worry. Ill be back to normal then. I promise.Okay. If you need anything, let me know. Call me, no matter what. Otherwise well, Ill see you at work.No. I have tomorrow off.Oh. Well. Do you mind if I stop by?Sure. Go ahead. I would have concord to anything. I was too tired to hold to my earlier notion of distancing. Id worry about that later. Honestly. One thing at a time.He left reluctantly, no doubt baffled when I told him to spend a lot of time with whoever he was meeting. As for me, I paced all over my apartment, not knowing what to do. Maybe I couldnt get ahold of Roman because the nephilim had already found him. That would hardly be fair since Id never even had a chance to genuinely warn him, but this nephilim didnt really seem like the typewrite to care about right or wrong.Struck by inspiration, I called Information, realizing Id missed the obvious way to find him. It didnt matter. Unlisted.Two hours before my shift would have ended, I left Roman another message. Please, please, please call me, I begged. Even if youre really mad at me for what happened. Just tell me youre out there and okay.No return call came. Eight oclock roll around. With one hour remaining, I left him another message. I could feel hysteria creeping in. God, what was I going to do? All I did do was continue pacing, pondering how curtly would be too soon to call Roman one more time.Five minutes before nine, utterly frantic, I grabbed my purse, desperate to leave my apartment and do something. Anything. beat was almost up.What would happen? How would I know if Id successfully jumped through the nephilims basketball? When I saw Romans murder plastered across the paper tomorrow? Would th ere be another note? Or maybe some gruesome token? What if the nephilim hadnt even meant any of the people Id considered? What if it was someone completely out of the realm of I opened my door to leave and gasped.RomanHe stood there, mid-knock, as surprised to see me as I was him.I dropped my purse and ran to him, flinging myself at him in a fierce embrace that nearly toppled him. Oh God, I breathed into his shoulder, Im so glad to see you.I guess, he replied, pulling slightly away to look down at me, his cobalt ultramarine eyes concerned. Lord, Georgina, whats wrong? Ive got like eighty messages from you I know, I know, I told him, still not letting go. Seeing him stirred up all the old, qu wanton feelings I had thought were buried. He looked so good. He smelled so good. Im sorry its just, I thought something had happened to youI hugged him again, catching sight of my watch as I did so. Nine oclock. My shift was over, as was the nephilims ridiculous game.Okay, its all right. He patted me awkwardly on the back. Whats going on?I cant tell you. My voice shook.His mouth opened to protest, but he reconsidered. Okay. Lets take this slow. Youre pale. Lets go get something to eat. You can explain all this then.Yeah, that would be a sportswoman conversation. No. We cant do thatCome on. Theres no way you can leave me all those desperate messages and then start playing the we need space game. Seriously, Georgina. Youre a wreck. Youre shaking. I wouldnt want you to be by yourself anyway if Id found you like this, let alone after those calls.No. No. No going out. I sat down on the couch, needing to let him go, reluctant to do so. Lets stay here.Still looking distressed, Roman fetched me a glass of water, then sat down by me, holding my hand. As time passed, I calmed down, listening as Roman talked about inconsequential things in an trial to make me feel interrupt.For his part, he was quite nice about my psychotic phone calls. He continued trying to tease out an ex planation, but when I remained evasive, only saying I had cause to worry about him, he stopped pushing for now. He continued cheering me up, sexual relation me funny things as well as his usual political soliloquies, sound off about the irrational rules and hypocrisy of the powers that be.By late in the evening, I was relaxed again, left only with embarrassment for the way Id behaved. Damn, I hated that nephilim.Its getting late. You going to be okay if I go? he asked, standing(a) with me near my living room window, overlooking Queen Anne Avenue.Probably better than if you stay.Well, thats a matter of opinion, he chuckled, running a hand over my hair.Thanks for coming by. I know I know it seems crazy, but youve just got to trust me on this one.He shrugged. I dont really have a choice. Besides its kind of nice to know you were worried about me.Of course I was. How could I not be?I dont know. You arent easy to read. I couldnt figure out if you really liked me or if I was just somet hing to pass the time. A diversion.Something in his words rang a bell in my head, something I should have paid attention to. Instead I was more caught up in how close he suddenly stood to me, how his hand ran down my cheek to my neck and to my shoulder. He had long, sensuous fingers. Fingers that could do a lot of good in a lot of good places.I do like you, Roman. If you dont believe anything else I tell you, believe that.He smiled then, a smile so full and beautiful, it made my heart melt. God, I had missed that smile and his funny, breezy charm. Moving his hand back up to my neck, he pulled me toward him, and I realized he was going to kiss me again.No no dont, I murmured, squirming out of his grasp.He backed off from the kiss, still holding on to me as he exhaled, disappointment all over his face. Still worried about that?You cant understand. Im sorry. I just cantGeorgina, nothing traumatic happened the last time we kissed. Short of your reaction, I mean.I know, but its not that simple.Nothing happened, he repeated, an unfamiliar hardness in his voice.I know, but My mouth hung there mid-sentence as I replayed his words. Nothing happened. No, something had happened that night at the concert, kissing in the back hallway. Id seen Roman stagger from the kiss. But me what had happened to me? What had I felt? Nothing. A kiss that intense, a kiss with someone strong, a kiss with someone I wanted so badly should have triggered something. Even with a low energy yield like Warren, a deep kiss would wake up my succubus instinct, start to connect us, even if no significant transfer took place. Kissing Roman like that especially when he ostensibly had a reaction should have resulted in some kind of feeling on my end. Some sensation. Yet, there had been nothing. Nothing at all.I had written it off to too much alcohol at the time. But that was ridiculous. I drank all the time before getting a fix. Alcohol could muddle my senses as it obviously had that night but no amount of intoxication could completely negate the sensation of anima transfer. Nothing could. I had been too trashed to realize the truth. Alcohol or no, I would always feel something from sexual or intimate physical contact unlessUnless I was with another immortal.I jerked away from Roman, breaking his hold on me. His expression registered surprise, immediately replaced by sudden understanding. Those beautiful eyes sparkling dangerously, he laughed.Took you long enough.